The Conversation

I imagine things most likely went like this before I got here:

God: Do you understand the assignment?

Me: I think I’ve got it- go to earth, get a human suit. I can inflate it, I can deflate it, but I can’t get a new one.

God: That’s about right.

Me: And where will you be?

God: I’ll be inside of you, but you won’t always know that I’m there, sometimes you’ll forget.

Me: Aaaah, kind of like that Earth game hide and seek you told me about?

God: Yes, sort of like that but you won’t be playing the game with me, you’ll be playing it with yourself. You’ll encounter things of beauty and pleasure on earth: Mountainsides…dogs…a child’s laughter…food…Morris Chestnut. But you will also encounter some bullshit. Taxes…failures…unsolicited advice…marshmallow peeps, and in multiple colors no less. Complete bullshit.

Me: Bullshit?

God: Yes. This is part of your human-ness and will include the lessons you’ll learn in life. Have you gathered your lessons in your Earth basket?

Me: Yep, right here.

God: That’s a lot of shit in your basket.

Me: Well, you know me, always the overachiever (smile).

God:

Me:

God: Have you chosen your parents yet?

Me: Not yet, for the male one I was thinking that guy down there, it appears hydration is important to him. Any idea what he’s drinking?

God: Some humans call it liquid courage.

Me: He sounds quite brave, I’ll take him… Aaand… that one doesn’t look too bad to live in for 9 months. Is that part negotiable, by the way?

God: No

Me: Ok fine, I’ll choose her then.

God: This should be interesting.

Me: Excuse me?

God: I didn’t say anything.

Me:

God:

Me: I’m ready… This is going to be fine right?

God: (Smiling) It always is.